so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
