In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Boobs are out for the taking
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
