Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
