Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
