Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
