Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
