im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
