the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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