I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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