Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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