Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
