Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
