Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just puked most of my soul out..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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