so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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