Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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