I just made out with a guy for $7.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i've created a new STD.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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