Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
