it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
