I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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