I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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