I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
