I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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