Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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