i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
