Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
