feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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