Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
