You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
