his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
