Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
