How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
