ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
