halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
