Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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