No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
