I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This is my gift to your gina
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
