Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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