I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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