i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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