Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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