Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
