Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
