i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
