do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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