70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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