You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's the barista slut.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
