It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
