you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im holly from the hills drunk
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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