Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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