I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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