i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
